Why Summer In London Is The Worst

You may have noticed that the sun is finally out and London is crawling with people who want to leave the peace of their homes and offices and start replenishing their Vitamin D supplies. Don’t you just hate when that happens?

1. People want to have picnics in the park and be outside

We have no idea why someone would be into this. Grass stains on your clothes, mud in your shoes and ants walking around. Absolute disaster!

2. People suddenly want to swim so they jump into pools

Screaming kids, overcrowded lidos and ducks swimming right next to you. No thanks.

3. You get invited to boat parties on the Thames

Have you tried leaving a party when the venue is literally in the middle of the river? Well, you can’t. What are you supposed to do? Make new friends and have fun?

4. You are expected to have barbecues every weekend

If you are not hosting one yourself you at least have to go to a friend’s place . Enjoy smelling like burnt meat all day.

5. Everyone is going to beer gardens

Say goodbye to your regular pub. Now you have to discover a new one and change up your beloved routine.

6. People insist on inviting you to outdoor parties, mainly on roofs.

You know something’s wrong when you can’t even use the English weather as an excuse to stay home and binge watch TV on Netflix.

7. All people talk about is Wimbledon, strawberries and cream.

They are probably making up for not even thinking about tennis for the rest of the year.

8. You get dragged to some festival or other.

Who wants to run around in the mud and get pushed by sweaty drunk dudes?

9. You have to swap your favourite pints for Pimms and exotic cocktails

If it has umbrellas and burning fruit it’s not a drink, it’s an instagram excuse.

10. You are not allowed to be grumpy in public

Isn’t it your fundamental English right to be miserable and complain? Why should a bit of sunshine change that?

Do you agree with me or are you one of those happy people who want to do all those things and will now go find fun socials on citysocializer to actually go and hang out with some people? Be careful…there’s a very high risk of making new friends.